Meet the Variegated Verticillata, a stellar specimen from the Hoya constellation! This cosmic creeper thrives in bright, indirect starlight, so place it near a window where rays can beam in, but avoid scorching supernovas (aka direct sun). Keep its root module cozy in well-draining alien soil, think light, airy, and not too clingy. Hydration cycles? Only water when the top few lunar layers are dry. Overwatering can cause a black hole of root rot!

Humidity helps it feel right at home, 50% or higher is optimal for galactic growth. This vine loves to climb like it’s reaching for orbit, so give it a trellis or let it trail like a space serpent. Fertilize monthly during its active growth season (spring and summer) with a balanced space fuel (houseplant fertilizer) to keep those creamy, variegated leaves glowing like nebulae.

Keep an eye out for pesky space invaders like mealybugs or spider mites. A quick blast of alien-approved pest spray will send them packing. Prune as needed to shape your cosmic beauty or encourage fuller starbursts of foliage.

With a little Martian mindfulness, your Variegated Verticillata will beam back radiant vibes and possibly earn you honorary space botanist status.